Having a good mentor can help the mentee advance their career. So, it is natural to think of the relationship as the mentor providing knowledge and connections and the mentee receiving those benefits. However, it is more productive to think of that relationship as a 2-way street.
Below are some suggestions from Marina Glazman, CEO of Suitely, on establishing mutually beneficial mentorships from a mentee perspective (1).
- Don’t worry too much about the formality of the arrangement. Remember that that goal is to learn from someone who has done more and had more experiences than you.
- Accept that a mentor will have limits on how much they are willing to help.
- A mentor can “have knowledge to share, advice on certain experiences, personal stories relevant to yours or ways of thinking that can influence your decision-making and problem-solving”, but don’t expect the mentor to provide emotional support.
- Don’t expect the mentor to open doors, but rather, ask the mentor to provide advice on what the mentee can do to create opportunities for themselves.
- The mentor/mentee relationship as a 2-way street. “A mentor needs to gain something from the interaction, whether it’s a vicarious experience of exciting new projects, the fulfillment of developing a new leader, or the gratification of redeploying knowledge and experience in a new way. The mentee needs to demonstrate growth potential, interesting work possibilities and the promise of a fun ride ahead.
To add to the last point, Sheryl Sandberg suggests: “Shift your thinking from, ‘If I get a mentor, I will excel’ to, ‘If I excel, I will get a mentor.’” (2)
(1) https://www.chieflearningofficer.com/2020/10/18/5-things-to-stop-expecting-from-a-mentor/